I MOVED TO LONDON TO GET A REAL JOB ( yeh i should do that )


so it's been a while since i've done one of these idiotic 'what i've been up to' posts, and since i've moved to london to start my actual life i thought i should do a lil update about some of the things i've learnt from this fair city in the month-and-a-bit i've been here.

yehyehyeh everyone is supposed to know this about london but seriously it actually takes the old biscotti. every day i am optimistic about that £5 minimum top up i put on my oyster card, and after about half a journey it's GONE. come on guys. buck your ideas up. being a cheap scottish broad i really resent paying over like £1.50 for travel so i will literally do anything, ANYTHING to avoid paying for transport. whether it be classic 'i'm from scotland, i'm really confused about the ticket system here, am i supposed to have a card of some kind?' or using the same dayticket for weeks at a time on the bus. the trick is to really dawdle with finding your card when you get on. in edinburgh bus drivers won't start driving til the last person pays, but here it appears that they do not care if a young girl is in fact a devious fare-dodging stowaway because they start driving. so by the time you get your ( blatantly a month out of date ) day travel card out they are too busy concentrating on the road to notice. however, you do have to be careful because i nearly broke one of my ribs when the barriers at waterloo closed on me. they are not gentle. all i was trying to do was, you know, run after some old woman when she put her card in. anyway the barrier closed on me and i was very much trapped. it was pretty mortifying because this guy had to like, come and let me out. at this point i kinda didn't have an excuse so i just sort of, looked confused (classic) and ran away.

so here in london i am back working for old faithful (ATG) and, yet again, i am working at the lion king. i thought i'd seen the last of that pesky old maid but yep, it's come ROARING back *pun intended*. i must say though, i have missed it and it is a fun show to work at, i just don't know if i can ever listen to hakuna matata again without wanting to kill myself. anyway unlike edinburgh the majority of the audience are tourists, so you get people from all over the place chatting to you. sorry but. 'will-call'. what is that. have you ever heard of that? i don't think so. so who can blame me for thinking they wanted to use my phone? i got a very blank and confused stare back. anyway everyone i really super nice at work, EVERYONE is a performer which is so weird coming from the playhouse where most people just want to get money and go to CC blooms ( luv n miss you guys ). but they're a nice loud creative bunch and yeee work could definitely be worse. the only thing that is slightly lacking is the uniform. i have to wear a bow tie. yes. a nice shiny red bow tie. and a waistcoat. i look like a right tit.  here's a pic of me with dick van dyke on my way to work:

burlesque is something i've wanted to try for aaaages and i was like ' HEY, london is a sexy cool city, what better place to get my kit off in ???'. as i expected, there are LOADS of options here, there's about a million burlesque schools and loads of lessons. sadly though, they are all pretty expensive, and since i nearly broke my ribs trying to save £1.50 on the train i don't think i'm going to be able to shell out £200 for a bunch of lessons. BUT - i found a little hours taster lesson for £10 which i thought was perfect. one of my best friends down here wanted to try it too so we booked it together. however, i failed to read the smallprint. well, it wasn't smallprint, it was quite loud n proud on the website but i didn't read it until we had booked: 'PERFECT FOR HEN PARTIES'. now, i don't wanna be judgemental, but the prospect of dancing around with a bunch of middle aged ladies wearing penis deeley boppers and L-plates was not one i found particularly inviting. immediately i thought of a lady teaching us going ' COME ON GIRLS, SHAKE YA MONEYMAKERS! SHAKE WHAT YOUR MAMA GAVE YAA! ' nevertheless, we had both paid our £10 and i'd be damned if i was going to waste that. so we got to the place, actually really nervous, and the first thing we saw were a gaggle of women all wearing SPARKLY COWBOY HATS. we ran around the corner and were like 'we can't do this, we can't do this', 'this is too awful and embarrassing HELP'. eventually we psyched ourselves up and just bit the bullet. luckily the ladies with the cowboy hats weren't actually there, and there was a nice wee mix of people so it wasn't nearly as mortifying as i thought, though as expected it was super basic beginner level stuff. the funniest bit was we did a kick line ( lol ) but because it's very beginner-y the woman was like 'just lift your foot slightly off the floor'. when finally everyone had mastered the art of lifting the same foot off the floor at the same time as everyone else ( took a good 5 minutes ) she put the music on. and we did it for like the entire song. right foot up, right foot down. left foot up, left foot down two. over and over again. very slowly. to THIS SONG:

i was. dying. dying inside. i've never done anything like it. it was funny though.
anyway despite a less than enigmatic introduction into the world of burlesque it's still something i'll prob look into/just make it up?? can't be that hard right ??
overall though, i'm loving london so much!!! there is so much going on here and just so many people to meet and chat to. 10/10 i recommend. and i know lots of people are going to be coming down here to live over the next few months so i'm so so so excited to hang out with everyone here and share more of my wonderful, practical london advice with them.
lots of love X